May 2022 Archives

Everything is Wrong

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(This is part 10 of a series. You can read the previous part here. New to the series? Start here.)

After the scare of the last scan, which had a good outcome but which involved a lot of dread and anxiety and which I’ll write about further some other time, Heidi and I both told each other that no matter what the outcome of today’s scans is, we’ll have a good cry about it, but tackle it as we’ve tackled other major hurdles of the past month or two. And if everything is OK, we’ll have a good cry (tears of joy, of course!) and continue to tackle life.

And then everything about today is wrong. She forgot to bring her notebook of medical details and her purple pen. One of the CT machines is down. Did a lipid panel get ordered? We’re still not sure. I’m not sitting in a garage somewhere, sitting instead in the waiting room on the “wrong” side of the office. Superstitious much?

I am glad that God is above superstition. Tomorrow may be Friday the 13th, but other than having a bunch of idiots out there doing everything differently because, you know, it’s Friday the 13th instead of Tuesday the 13th, it will be a normal day. Unless something goes wrong, in which case we’ll blame it on Friday the 13th, it’ll be just a normal Friday. The good news is that God is constant, yesterday, today, and tomorrow, no matter the names or dates of those days.

So I tell myself that and ask God for forgiveness for thinking that He’s influenced by our strange superstitions. His plan supersedes our superstitions, thankfully. That doesn’t mean we’ll necessary have a good outcome today—that’s still up to the drugs and Heidi’s body’s reaction, her providers, and the skills and technology that God has gifted all of them with.

In a way, then, everything is right: God’s got a plan… even if I did choose the wrong chair.

Continue on to Part 11.